I don’t want to be alone
I don’t want to be alive
I just want to curl up in the corner of my empty room and probably die
I know I can’t
I know I won’t
What I don’t know is tangled around my brain and won’t let go of my throat
Why can’t you be here
Simply sitting beside me
Your arm around my shoulders
Telling me it’s okay to cry
It isn’t the time
We’re not in the right place
But fuck this emptiness
Fuck this lonely space
Everything inside me
Tells me to fight
But I want to give up
On this grip I hold so tight
I see everything I could’ve ever wanted
Coming alive
But you’re not here for it
Do I stay busy to survive
This shit storm I’ve endured
I don’t even recognize
The pain that paints my walls
The moments I’m paralyzed
Choking on lies
Swallowing doubt
Letting it stay inside me
Like a demon that won’t come out
You’d say the right things
I know you’d try
So why am I burying these feelings
When I just want to fly
With you
I know you’d be there
Please tell me I’m misguided
That this was never for keeps
Tell me I’m crazy
And I’ll go back to sleep