how did we get this far gone

how did i end up so low

my heart is pounding, mind racing

but my blood is starting to slow

 

paralyzed in this moment

not wanting to let go

of the beautiful, broken memories

that made this empty house home

 

i can’t move

i see myself walk as a ghost

through rooms that kept my secrets

past walls filled with artwork i cherished the most

 

i can’t go backwards

only forward and through

i’m leaping off a cliff on my own

all this space now and

no room for you

 

yes it makes me sad

to read what i just wrote

but i know it’s the only way

i know it’s our only hope

 

why did you do this?

why did i let you?

why didn’t i spend the time

finding who i am, my own point of view.

 

i’ve always been weak

when it comes to knowing myself.

always vulnerable to shoving my feelings

back on a shelf

 

wasn’t it right to self sacrifice,

for love, to compromise?

not when i’m being suffocated,

unsure of the truths, believing the lies.

 

i think i told myself half of them.

honestly, i don’t even know

don’t even care right now

i never wanted this to show.

 

the world thinks i’m crazy

but i know the truth.

there is only one hope,

and it’s not believing in you.

 

it's in me.

i’m more than this structure could ever hold

and saying goodbye

leads to stories untold

 

they deserve to be.

i know there’s more.

 

i hope i’m writing something that makes sense to someone who’s had to let go

i hope i appreciate this when i’m gray and old

i hope this house finds who it needs inside

i hope i find my self broken

given up to God, taken by light

 

i know there’s more

past these walls